Spending Time With Your Baby - Making The Most Of Joy.

Spending Time With Your Baby - Making The Most Of Joy.
By Roy Thomsitt

When you first bring home your Bouncing New Baby, you will
surely feel you want to watch over her and be with her much of
the time, especially if you are a first time parent. Newborn
babies are fascinating even if they are not yours; when they are
your own, that special feeling takes off into the stratosphere.
You may feel tempted to hold them, watch them and chat to them
the whole time; even when they are asleep you will enjoy
standing silently over them and observe them in their slumbers.

Those first few days are a magical time, but then a
transformation may take place. For the first few nights, the
night feed may be a novelty, and you may even feel "great, she's
awake, I can see her again". But then sleep interruption may
start to irritate you rather than be a signal for pleasure;
tiredness begins to take a hold as your sleep is disturbed so
often. Night feeds, cholic, bringing up her milk; all can
contribute to an interrupted night. Insufficient sleep mixed
with aggravation can start to eat away at that feeling of wonder
you had when your baby first came home.

Your baby has not changed; but you have. She is the same
gorgeous baby you brought home from hospital. Her simple life is
evolving only very slowly to her; it is yours that is changing
most rapidly. Those rapid changes, maybe mixed with a new level
of tiredness you have not felt before, represent the first
exertion of pressure on that very special relationship - you and
your baby.

Then there is day time. The old day to day pressures are still
there; the need to rush around to the shops, worrying about
money, wondering how to deal with work, job and baby; the car
not starting, the leak in the pipe under the sink, the washing
machine seizing up under the constant use. The days spent
wishing you could get a good night's sleep, wishing you were
back at work earning more money, and being with your work
colleagues. The time you spend thinking: "where's my life gone?
I have no control anymore. That baby is my jailer in the day
time and tormentor at night."

Stop! That is a train of thought you must either not board, or
at least get off at the first station. It is a train fuelled by
self pity, and heading down the track to unhappiness for you,
your partner, and your baby. You are the only one who controls
your life; you choose between the track to contentment and joy,
or to discontent and misery.

Remember, that baby loves you more than anyone else ever has,
unless you have had a baby before. Her devotion, her admiration,
and her dependence are total. It is for you to decide whether
that is something to cause resentment in you, or the
overwhelming joy that it should. That little miracle of a baby
is the biggest responsibility you have ever had, but she can
also be the source of the greatest pleasure and joy.

Compare your baby's devotion with your work colleagues you
miss; in 10 years time you will probably have lost contact with
most or all of them. Your workplace is like a busy junction
where people cross over. Your work? If you are employed, your
bosses will ditch you as soon as they need to if they see a
"better" alternative. Your car, your washing machine, your
leaking pipe; do you really think they are important compared to
that unique and potentially wonderful relationship that is in
your arms, the relationship with your baby?

You make the choices; you take the actions. You have
experienced in the first few days with baby at home that there
can be sheer joy and excitement; wonderment and appreciation.
The baby loves you to bits; you can love her to bits too, and
put the exterior trivia in their rightful place. Or, the baby
loves you to bits and you can wallow in resentment because she's
interrupting your life, demanding attention when you have a
leaking pipe or a car that won't start.

In black and white, on paper, it's a simple choice; but how can
you make that choice and achieve the right balance in your life?
Think about it quietly for a while; somewhere on your own. Think
of the pleasure the baby gives you in those precious moments
when you do not feel stressed. Then, make a conscious decision
to perpetuate those moments; to make each moment you have with
your baby, infant and child a moment when you and she are there
simply for each other.

As your baby grows, there will be countless moments of
development that can bring you a lot of pleasure and pride;
learning to walk, getting out of her crib, her kisses and
cuddles, her first word and every new word thereafter; her
expressions, mimicry, her laughter and her first attempt to
dance to the music on the radio; her attempts to control and
manipulate you, and learning to use her charm to get her own
way. All can be moments of intense pleasure, if you allow them
to be.

Such developments you can allow to merge into the noisy
background of life's trivia, and miss the joy they can bring
you. In so doing you are increasing the chances of an unhappy
baby, and an unhappy you. Or, you can make each moment you spend
with your baby one for you to enjoy to the full, shutting out
life's trivia for those times you are sharing with your
offspring. In so doing you would increase the chances of a happy
baby and a happy you.

You make the choices; you take the actions. For your own sake
and the baby's, spend as much time with your baby as you can,
and set out to enjoy it to the full. Shut out the trivia that
are trying to spoil your unique relationship, and your life will
be considerably better for it.

It is not always possible, but try to organise the trivia
around your time with baby. The more you give her precedence,
and willingly, the more happy you will both be. Enjoy every
single moment of watching her development. It is something that
cannot be repeated.

About the Author: This baby care article was written by Roy
Thomsitt owner author of the Bouncing New Baby website,
http://www.bouncing-new-baby.com. Ably assisted by his baby
daughter, he is also responsible for the Baby Blog
http://feeds.feedburner.com/bouncing-new-baby/RVnf

Source: http://www.isnare.com

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